fasting is the answer

I am on day 5 of my juice fast with day 3 as a water fast and I have to say out loud because I struggle and struggle with overeating issues- THIS IS THE WAY! I feel so amazing, look SO beautiful and feel so high why would I compromise this way of being by stuffing myself all the time and being so attached to food?
I am truly understanding how much food is EMOTIONAL and AESTHETIC- like I woke up absolutely not hungry (amazing for me!) and a thought came in my head like "pizza would be nice" and then I wanted it.
Then later that day I went to the bathroom in that Chocolate place called Max Brenner -really not recommended to go in there while fasting :-)- and there was this pizza made out of chocolate and marshmellows on display and I was like I NEED TO EAT THAT! I mean it was totally gross but it looked aesthetically cool , and also brought back that childhood feeling of excitement and treat and forbidden food that was such a huge part of growing up. Then I was with a friend who was eating a grilled soy cheese, and the bread- you could smell it from a mile away- my senses are totally on fire right now because of fasting- and I think I was salivating but I just concentrated on what that bread does to you- DOUGH TURNS YOU INTO DOUGH!

Amy taught me in australia that food can look and smell good but that doesn't mean that you have to eat it. I will never forget that.
So I feel totally high and am even loving my body more and more, and I have fear that I will lose this feeling once I go back to eating again. If I were staying home it would be easier because I feel like I could go on forever. But I am going right on tour on thursday. I plan to stay on blended til at least Sunday and then my mantra has to be light light light, which again will be challenging because I will be with my boyfriend who I love to make food for and also recording and also by my favorite new raw restaurant in London! I don't want to go into future based fear, but how many times have I experienced lightness and happiness while fasting only to go back to overeating and gaining all the weight back?
And then I need to remember that fasting is to clear your channel to the Divine. Forget about weight shit. What a stupid obsession OH I AM SO OVER IT!
I have to say this has been the easiest fast I ever did hunger-wise and I guess that is a testament to me staying raw and as much as I can anti- candida, that at least I am like 98% raw, even if I am overeating, and it is showing in the ease of this fast.

L O V E (Developing Peace with Food)

Today i made lunch for myself... this time, with love and care. Normally, i throw stuff together and i don't enjoy the process of making food for myself.  it's usually a rushed thing where i get so anxious around the food that my heart starts racing and i can hardly sit down because i'm standing up eating along the way and then i have a challenging time deciding when is the "appropriate" time to stop. 

Today was different.  I added one extra ingredient - "Love."  It made it taste sooo much better.  I've heard it said before, "Always make food with love." and honestly, i never really knew what that felt like before.  My mind has been so conditioned (from modeling days) that food is bad.  It was never treated as a nurturing way of taking care of myself but rather a way to beat and sabotage myself for F E E L I N G.  

My goodness - How askew!!!   I'm so happy that i took the time to blog about this.  I see that i am developing and integrating a more peaceful, loving relationship with food...  

and Remember: Don't forget the Love!